Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Vatican: 10% of people are possessed by the devil

Okay, slight exaggeration. The Vatican’s actual assertion is that one in ten of the people said to be possessed by Satan actually are. But this is still a concerning number of Damiens in the world who have 666 tattooed on their foreheads. And assuming the ‘possession’ to be total (for why would Lucifer be content with dim half-lights?), the Pope is informing the world that there are literally thousands of incarnate Satans walking the earth.

Cranmer can’t help wondering where they all reside and where they work, though the Vatican gives a clue insofar as it specifies ‘exposure’ to ‘the media, rock music and the Internet’. As is well known, both Hitler and Stalin were into all three. Apparently, three signs that experts look out for in identifying those who are possessed are ‘an ability to speak languages that the possessed person does not know, the presence of superhuman strength, and an awareness of hidden or distant objects’.

But according to Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi: ‘Pope Benedict XVI has no intention of ordering local bishops to bring in garrisons of exorcists to fight demonic possession.’ Cranmer thinks this to be a very great pity, for the world certainly needs them. However, His Holiness is ‘drawing up plans to install a given number of exorcists in every diocese in the coming months so that “possessed” people could get prompt treatment.

Jolly good, that. Prompt treatment ensures a higher chance of survival.

And apparently His Holiness is also reintroducing a prayer to be said at the end of Mass to ‘St Mark the Archangel’, believed to be ‘the prime protector against evil’.

Curious, that, given that there is not one reference in Scripture that may give rise to such a belief, and its origin in Church tradition is also something of a mystery to Cranmer. But in any case, would not ‘the prime protector’ against evil be the Lord himself? Did Jesus appeal to 'Archangel Mark' when dealing with Legion? How can a mere archangel, a servant of the Lord, be the ‘prime’ anything?

The Vatican has its very own Professor Snape in the guise of Father Paolo Scarafoni, whose job it is to instruct students ‘in the art of recognising and expelling Satan’. Indeed, eager to spread awareness about the rising threat of Satanism, Rome's Regina Apostolorum University has opened the course up to anyone with a proven interest in fighting devil worship. Although there is no indication of the entrance requirements, present students include ‘doctors, psychiatrists, lawyers and youth workers’. One of the objectives of the course is ‘to stop such a delicate and difficult subject being viewed in a sensationalist way’.

Err…

Since when was possession by Satan not sensational? Who would want to downplay this manifest and present danger, and why?

And Cranmer can’t help thinking what the media would have made of this revelation if it had emanated from Lambeth Palace. The scorn and derision that would have been poured upon the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Church of England would have been unrelenting, with doubtless Government ministers and Opposition spokesmen dismissing the pronouncement as ‘insensitive’ and ‘lacking any foundation in reality’. But the Vatican remains immune from such media onslaught, comfortably and uncritically perpetuating a bygone era of magic. And the Church of England, having endured both Reformation and Enlightenment, has learnt to take responsibility for its actions. Instead of apportioning blame on a poor innocent Devil, it can distinguish between magical thinking and murderous behaviour, and is content to assert that both Hitler and Stalin were psychopaths and murderous criminals.

According to Scripture, Satan appears as an angel of light (2Cor 11:14).. There is nothing about unlearned languages, superhuman strength, or detecting hidden objects. It is the plainest teaching of the New Testament that Satan masquerades as one who is pure, holy, benevolent, enlightened...

Any ideas?

35 Comments:

Blogger Jomo said...

Michael for starters

8 January 2008 08:17  
Blogger AethelBald, King of Wessex said...

Some people need hocus pocus. It's about scratching where it itches. The CoE has succumbed to modern critical thought and, among other things, has ceased to provide the theatrical element that a vibrant Christianity appears to need.

I also wonder if this statement has "Ex Cathedra" authority, which makes it infallible, or if it is merely part of the Magisterium. I suspect the latter. Anyone know?

8 January 2008 08:47  
Anonymous mickey said...

The devil has a broad smile and an easy manner. Vatican beware!

8 January 2008 08:55  
Anonymous Welsh Jacobite said...

I your Grace making an admission perhaps?

8 January 2008 09:03  
Blogger botogol said...

Cramner, are you *sure* that the pope actually said all this... I have clicked through the variour references and none seem to lead to an actual source....

8 January 2008 10:34  
Anonymous Bob said...

I'm rather confused by your sneering at the concept of exorcisms given that the
Anglican Church also performs exorcisms and so must believe in the power of evil at work in the world.

8 January 2008 10:57  
Blogger wonkotsane said...

Is there anything about the devil having a dodgy eye and the ability to speak at length out of his bottom?

8 January 2008 11:19  
Blogger Cranmer said...

Mr Botogol,

The original source has miraculously disappeared, and His Grace thought that they must have meant Archangel Michael (!), but as Mr Croydonian will attest (and this secondary source is linked), that it was indeed written down, and visible for the world to see.

8 January 2008 12:16  
Blogger Unsworth said...

Your Grace,

"one in ten of the people said to be possessed by Satan actually are"

Well one might wonder how many are 'said to be possessed'. Not many, in my experience, but there are one or two of who get into The Three Hats - a nearby hostelry - who get 'possessed' very quickly most Saturday evenings. Possessed as a Newt, in fact.

Of course there's the usual Sunday morning exorcism...

8 January 2008 12:56  
Anonymous steve hamilton said...

Quick! Somebody get a priest out to:

House of Commons
London
SW1A 0AA

8 January 2008 12:59  
Blogger ENGLISHMAN said...

The previous pope stated that he would like to exorcize st peters in rome ,but the forces of evil were to strong for him.it really makes one wonder where these people have escaped from.

8 January 2008 13:14  
Anonymous Bob said...

Englishman,

Is there a source for the above?

8 January 2008 13:36  
Anonymous Puzzled said...

So, according to the Vatican speaking in tongues is a sign of demonic possession? How does this tie in with Acts 2:4 "And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance."?

8 January 2008 13:58  
Anonymous hear o israel said...

i think evil is a kind of perversion of god , it trys to be god but isnt the real thing.
it looks beautiful but it is vain and is not sustained by god at its centre , it isnt holy.

dawkins used the idea that the persistence of evil was proof positive that god doesnt exist.

whilst its easy to dismiss good and evil as myths, how do you explain good ??

a belief of the burden of the self , or a connection with somthing else?

8 January 2008 14:27  
Anonymous irenelancaster said...

The origin of the Hebrew word, 'satan' is 'the opposer' or 'antagonist'.

8 January 2008 14:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Cranmer can’t help wondering where they all reside and where they work"

Oh come on, Your Grace, have you ever been to a Harvester before?

8 January 2008 14:39  
Blogger Homophobic Horse said...

The Pope is the Devil.

He's very old, speaks many languages, very clever, very cultured and has billions of followers.

8 January 2008 17:28  
Anonymous Sally Staggers said...

It is the plainest teaching of the New Testament that Satan masquerades as one who is pure, holy, benevolent, enlightened...

Any ideas?


SANDY: Bravo, Jules, bravo! It's an Oscar winner. I shall go and go again. How about you, Mr. Horne?

HORNE: Yes, it makes me want to go. And who do you see playing the role of Samson?

SANDY: Well, let's see - the description says `big, butch, muscular and blond'. There's on1y one person it can be.

HORNE: Who's that?

SANDY: It's you, Jules.

JULIAN: Ooh, pity - I saw myself as Delilah.

---
A Satanic programmette if ever there was one.

8 January 2008 17:28  
Anonymous susan said...

where is mark the achangel mentioned in the Bible?

8 January 2008 18:30  
Blogger Devil's Kitchen said...

"Any ideas?"

Well, hello there. Anyone seeking the easy way to enlightenment...?

DK

8 January 2008 19:58  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Pope has made only two infallible statements and, even if it had been him who said it, this wouldn't be anywhere in the same league.

In fact the source seems to be 'The Croydonian' quoting a Vatican spokesman. Anything on the Vatican website?

8 January 2008 20:49  
Anonymous the devil said...

can't get the staff these days...

8 January 2008 23:26  
Anonymous billy said...

puzzled said...
So, according to the Vatican speaking in tongues is a sign of demonic possession? How does this tie in with Acts 2:4 "And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance."?

08 January 2008 13:58

No need to be Puzzled, read on.
Acts 2:6 to 11 "When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in their own
language. ........... we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!"

The disciples were understood; they spoke recognisable languages.
I know someone who claims to speak in tongues and she utters complete gibberish. Never yet met anybody who understands what she is saying and this is a place of many languages. She doesn't know herself.

9 January 2008 00:23  
Blogger Homophobic Horse said...

Billy: Not all tongues are good, the Holy Ghost is but one spirit in a realm full of fallen angels eager to possess and destroy; as indeed they do, through the intoxicating evil of pentecostal rock music.

9 January 2008 03:46  
Anonymous M Burgess said...

ENGLISHMAN said... The previous pope stated that he would like to exorcize st peters in rome

Not too sure about this, but Cardinal Pericle Felici, Secretary-General of the Second Vatican Council said: “I am certain that when in the Council I pronounced the ritual words 'Exeunt Omnes', one who did not obey was the Devil. He is always there where confusion triumphs, to stir it up and take advantage of it.”

The precipitous decline of the Church after that dismal conclave is astonishing.

9 January 2008 10:27  
Anonymous Newtonmore shinty club said...

The usual proddie spin in a desperate attempt to generate interest in Cranmer himself.

The "Vatican" said zilch.Fr somebody or other said something.

Moreover what he said was plainly figurative. "no more than one in ten" " small minority" etc.

Fuss about nothing. Bit like the "Reformation"

9 January 2008 10:56  
Blogger Manfarang said...

Are all those ex-priests part of this devilment?

10 January 2008 05:49  
Blogger AnthroPax said...

The Prayer to 'St Mark the Archangel' is almost certainly the one to St Michael the Archangel:

Holy Michael, Archangel, defend us in the day of battle. Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do thou, Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander the earth for the ruin of souls. Amen.

Bound to get rid of any demonic forces out there.

28 January 2008 20:11  
Blogger AnthroPax said...

Oh yes, and Michael's found in the NT in two places: Jude 1:9 and Revelation 12: 7-8.

28 January 2008 20:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know how bad it is to be possessed by satan because i am possessed by satan myself. Sometimes I go mad and attack my friends and family but I am not in control.Someone out there please help me learn to control it.

1 July 2008 14:32  
Anonymous Liam said...

I know how bad it is because i am possessed by satan myself.Sometimes I go mad and attack my friends and family but I am not in control.Someone out there please help me learn to control it.

1 July 2008 14:37  
Anonymous liam said...

I know how bad it is to be possessed by satan because i am possessed by satan myself. Sometimes I go mad and attack my friends and family but I am not in control.Someone out there please help me learn to control it.

1 July 2008 14:42  
Blogger Perdana Adhi Mahendra said...

oiii if somebody is possesed one of the solution is
just make him/her is wet by water
if u heve more question i'll answer it in perdana_ttb@yahoo.com

24 July 2008 08:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well saying 1 in ten reported to be possessed actually are , is atleast admitting it's possible in 2009!

Now admitting you dont have to be a bad person or exactly what possession is might increase the numbers dramatically.

After seeing firsthand Possession OR Demonic Influence in people I coincidentally received ID with the Mark of the Beast on it. I made a website describing what happened with a picture of the ID

http:\\www.itsgottobe.50webs.com

Though I have yet to make contact or response from a believer with any real suggestions. It Seems to me if I was beleived this would be alot more dramatic. They actually want video footage and he wont give it to them , so it's a stalemate!

28 September 2009 16:30  
Blogger yaclickit said...

It's quite scary , automatically when you resist or fight the "devils will" the Doors of opportunity are magically shut everywhere you go, and the path of destruction is widened. This in a Christian Nation.

I've witnessed possession firsthand and coincidentally my id was issued with 666 on it. You can see it at http://www.itsgottobe.50webs.com

28 September 2009 22:19  

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